Collection 4: Satire

Not all my poems are quite as brooding and serious as the previous material I’ve posted on this blog might suggest. Occasionally, I find it an interesting exercise to try and have some fun through good ol’ fashioned social satire. Without further ado, here are my satirical takes on life in poem form.

1. Humanism
2. Pride
3. Mannequins
4. Criminals Anonymous
5. Dharma

Before I start, a small disclaimer is in order: these poems aren’t meant to offend or ridicule, though it may seem like it. I respect the religions and belief systems of others, and these aren’t criticisms of generalized groups of people. These poems are meant to be incisive and provoke conversation, as well as examination of assumptions that lie unchallenged in society.

Humanism

 My dear children, here’s how you’re supposed to think:
 you’re special, unique, different,
 a gem that has never existed and will never exist again
 when you’re gone.
  
 And we all chant: Yes, yes, we’re different, we’re unique,
 we are the people and we demand individual rights! 

Pride

 I’m stupid, and I’m proud of it.
 Got a degree from an online template,
 and my opinions from my neighbours.
 I’m ready to take on the world!
  
 I’m pious, and I’m so proud.
 Got my bible from the dollar store,
 and my beliefs straight from God, baby,
 nothing you say can change my mind.
  
 I’m rich, and I’m damn proud.
 Got half my fortune from my daddy
 and the other half from the fools I do business with.
 I make the world run, so don’t look at me like that.
  
 I’m greedy, and I’m proud as can be.
 Got my acumen from dumpster diving
 and my wealth from the idiots I scammed.
 Gotta put yourself first, am I right?
  
 We’re the public, and we’re really proud.
 We’re all colours of the rainbow.
 Hooray Civic Engagement! 

Mannequins

 Slap two letters on a cheap-
 ass shirt and, lo and behold,
 its value has quadrupled in the eyes
 of your friends, the banks, the unnamed teeming masses.
  
 Put a few patterns on a leather bag
 that sheaths your endless supply of artefacts
 when it used to shield the organs
 of a poor sod of an animal, long gone.
  
 Pose in three ways in four places,
 make sure that logo’s in shot
 or people will think you’re just some
 hobo who found a phone and some rags in the dumpster.
  
 And, as you knew deep down,
 it’s all irrelevant in a month,
 so go entreat your mommy
 for funds to replace your dignity. 

Criminals Anonymous

 Honour’s my middle name. I’d
 never rat out the big boss or
 my buddies while their guns are pointed
 the other way: over my dead body.
  
 We have no delusions here, bucko,
 it’s every man for himself.
 See a bastard turn his back, we
 pop a Glock in his ass before he knows he’s a goner.
  
 I steal for my family, amigo,
 we got nowhere else to turn! The
 government’s been bleeding us dry
 of green paper, red fluid, and sanity.
  
 They don’t deserve what they’ve got!
 They looted and scammed it from us 
 when we were down and out. Those fat
 cats won’t last for long, count on that!
  
 He looked at me funny. I was walkin’
 down that there alleyway, and he looked
 at me funny. Looked funny too,
 specially after I bashed his brains out. Hehehe…
  
 Society hates us, the government hates us, the law hates us, we hate us,
 and I just can't figure out why.

Dharma

 He walked past the poor beggar
 in resplendent suit with coins
 jingling in both satin pockets.
  
 And he sighed in the contentment
 that arises when one thinks: Ah,
 I have fulfilled my role in this world. 

---

That’s all for now. To reiterate, these poems are meant to be taken lightly, and please don’t consider any of them as attacks on particular groups of people or individuals. If you have any constructive criticism or opinions you’d like to share, please don’t hesitate to comment. To me, a comment means more than a like, because it’s an opportunity to engage with someone else, on however small a level. Of course, that’s not to say likes aren’t appreciated…. 🙂

I kid, of course. To any of you reading this, thanks for lending me and my thoughts your time. Time is a valuable commodity these days, and I’m glad you think this blog and this post were wise investments.

Thank you so much for reading, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.